There is an epidemic in Swaziland. No, I’m not talking about HIV/AIDS although that is devastating this country. I’m not talking about starvation although there are many people that don’t get enough to eat or have access to clean water in this country. I am talking about the epidemic of fatherlessness in Swaziland. Where are all the Dads? I see men around sometimes. They are often hanging around in the parking lot where I go to buy groceries. There are always a few by the bottle shop (liquor store) I pass on the way into the market. I see them sitting in front of the butchery, playing cards on overturned crates. There are usually some interspersed with the women working in the sugarcane fields. But go on a homestead to visit a mother or grandmother with her children and the question almost always presents itself: ‘Who is providing for this homestead?’
The family may be lacking food, clean water, clothing, a proper house in which to live, access to medical care or an education…yet…the biggest source of poverty I notice over and over is fatherlessness…Where are all the men? Where are the fathers?
In a culture where polygamy is allowed, even celebrated (look at the king of Swaziland and the number of wives he has!) and sexual relationships outside of marriage occur at an alarming rate the numbers of fatherless children is growing daily. Girls are getting pregnant and having multiple babies by multiple men in a desperate attempt to find the one who will marry her and take care of her and all of her children. Over and over, however, I see young women facing the unimaginable choice of leaving older children behind because her new husband refuses to take care of someone else’s kids.
Recently I was interviewed for a research project by a college student. She asked me what I thought the major issues effecting Swaziland might be. We discussed the AIDS problem, lack of jobs, lack of education, hunger, and poor health care. As I spoke, however, there was a whisper in my spirit that said: ‘It is the poverty of family’. Please don’t get me wrong. Swazis are warm and beautiful people who value relationship. We have met a few wonderful men who love their children and support their family. A few. Too. Few.
It is very clear that the root of so many of the issues growing throughout this country and choking out life is the lack of men who take their calling as provider, supporter, encourager, protector…seriously.
I wonder, what might happen if men married only one woman.
I wonder, what might happen if husbands stayed with their wives through sickness and health…even through HIV and AIDS.
I wonder, what might happen if fathers took full responsibility for their children.
I wonder, what might happen if fathers became the spiritual leaders of their households; putting the Lord God on the throne of their hearts, minds and souls.
I wonder, what might happen if men even went so far as to step into the gap other men have left behind and become father to those children as well as their own.
I wonder…
The word ‘fatherless’ is such a sad word, isn’t it? It evokes such emptiness and leaves me feeling so hollow inside. How tragic that there even has to be such a word in our vocabulary. Out of curiosity, I looked it up on an online dictionary. Dictionary.com defines it as: “not having a living father; not having a known or legally responsible father”. When I read that I was a bit surprised at the simplicity of the definition. How can something so big, so heavy, so complicated, so…sad… have such a short description? I then decided to check the thesaurus. I felt compelled to find something more substantial. When I typed ‘fatherless’ in the search engine on Thesaurus.com it stated: “no thesaurus results” followed by “did you mean faithless?” At first I thought that was a strange connection but quickly corrected myself. How hard is it for a fatherless child to have faith? How can a fatherless child wrap his or her mind around the concept of a Heavenly Father? Most disturbing of all…what if a fatherless child does wrap his or her mind around the concept of their Heavenly Father using their earthly father as the only point of reference? That is genuine poverty and that is the epidemic.
I am so thankful that my God is big enough:
“To the Lord your God belong the heavens, even the highest heavens, the earth and everything in it…For the Lord your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, who shows no partiality and accepts no bribes. He defends the cause of the fatherless…” ~ Deuteronomy 10:14-18a
His arms are wide enough to embrace each one of this fatherless generation:
“Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” ~ Matthew 19:14
“I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you.” ~ John 14:18
Jesus’ blood is rich enough to cover the multitude of sins caused by this selfish generation of faithless men:
“Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.” ~ Galatians 6:7-8
…and yet…
…my heart breaks…
…for them all…
