Have you ever observed a bird prepare and preen its nest? How it flutters to and from, gathering just the right bits of twigs, string, hair, straw; whatever materials it finds and deems appropriate to add to the creation. As the nest gains structure and form, the bird continues to pick and re-arrange. Finally, the creature is able to take a proud and protective stance over the final product. Suddenly, another bird swoops down and in a few feather-flying seconds, peace is disrupted. The nest builder defends its turf while the invader takes off with some small remnant clutched in its beak. Eventually, serenity will return once again, but now perhaps the builder will sit a bit more alert and watchful.
Well, I have had my feathers ruffled recently. Over the past couple of years, I have been working hard on my “nest”. As a wife and mother, I set the tone in our home; physically, emotionally and spiritually. The awesome burden of this responsiblity has taken on renewed importance to me. God has revealed places in me that He wants me to change. Through His Holy Spirit I have been convicted of sin patterns in my life that needed to be put to death. Attitudes, values, beliefs, that have no place in the heart and mind of a woman of faith. As these places are excised, I have earnestly tried to replace in them something pure, something holy. This has involved a fair amount of fluttering to and from and gathering in of these things. With the Lord’s help and guidance I am diligently (although also imperfectly!) trying to discern the right materials with which to build my nest. Sometimes I try to pick up a discarded bit and work it back into the nest. It is an ongoing, process…learning and re-learning along the way. I have truly attempted to remain soft, teachable and open to that learning.
So, when someone swoops down and attacks my nest, my peace is definately disrupted! My defenses are raised! Because, to attack my nest is to attack the very place in which I build my home. To attack my nest is to steal away pieces and products of my growth along the way. You see, in my nest are lessons learned; evidence of where I’ve been and reminders of how far I have yet to go. Wrapped in and through my nest are ribbons of truth and promises of hope and a future. To tear a hole into that, is to tear into the very center of what I am building upon to serve as a foundation for my life and my family.
The lesson for me, after much prayer and pleading with the Lord, is that there is still much work to be done on my nest. As long as it is vulnerable and open for attack, I must never quit building and strengthening it. I am reminded that I must continue to reinforce my nest with the truth and wisdom that only the Lord can give. Also, attacks usually come when they are least expected and often from those we would least expect! I must be on my guard, protecting my nest and the life it contains.
And finally, a lesson in grace. And this is a tough one for me to swallow…
Sometimes (and for me in this case, I believe) the attack comes from another “nest-builder”. A fellow sojourner working hard to find their way. Perhaps worn down and weary. Possibly recovering from attacks committed against them. Another imperfect creature, such as myself, who is just trying to mend holes and keep their own nest from falling apart. I take this lesson, the growth and wisdom it provides, as a treasure and weave it carefully back into my nest.
“Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.” Ephesians 4:15-16
“The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” Proverbs 14:1
That same “burden” is heavy on my heart right now. I truly know the feeling of having my nest, my precious family, vulnerable as I am not the wife, mother and caretaker that I feel I am being called to be. I am just beginning the journey of fluttering to and fro to protect my nest (mostly from MY imperfections right now). I am glad to see another Christian mom who admittantly struggled with that too. Thanks, “just” Jen for sharing your heart today. I read your blog (as you post the updates in FB) and I am grateful for your insights from the day! You are awesome and we are praying for you as a family!!! 🙂
Amazing Jen just amazing how your grace inspires me. Today I was in the car and what came to me with everything on my mind was the blog from the other day. About “What if”? Instead “What a gift”. And I have to say it got my through it is just amazing to me how you are teaching me and others through you”. Amazing is a wonderful word for you my Friend….And I am so thankful to God that I can call you my FRIEND! Keep this up you have no idea how this helps me…:)