The phrase 'empty-handed' is on my mind this afternoon. Why is it that we never want to arrive anywhere empty-handed? If we are invited to a home for dinner, we want to bring a hostess gift. If we welcome a new family to the neighborhood we want to knock on their front door with a housewarming gift. If we visit someone in the hospital we want to bring a get-well gift. When did our presence cease to be enough? When did it become more comfortable and/or desirable to have presents in hand, as well?

Please don't misunderstand me...I love to give and receive gifts as much as the next gal! This is definitely an area I struggle in: when does the material item move from something extra to something expected? What happens to the spirit of the exchange when the tangible goes from secondary to primary? The gap between expectant and hopeful to entitled and hardened is not as wide as one might want to believe. The space between well-intentioned helping and harmful enabling may be an even smaller margin; as well as a much more slippery slope. It is kind of like walking a tightrope...blindfolded...backwards...

At some point, you are probably going to fall...

Never have I been more aware of this tension then living in Swaziland. Living in and among the poorest of the poor tends to change your perception on things. Being a "have" among the "have-nots" requires a constant examining of your heart, your motives and your intentions. Ultimately, what can make ME feel good in the moment may actually cause more harm in the long run. What seemingly is gain, may end up a loss in the larger picture. Consider these words of Jesus:

"What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world yet forfeits his soul?" Matthew 16:26

This makes it pretty clear that Jesus is far more concerned with what is in our heart than what is in our hands. Actually, it seems He would prefer us to show up at His door with nothing in our hands. Not clinging to anything of this world but, rather, with an empty and open hand. Times where I have forgotten this (or chosen to ignore it) I seem to always be left feeling that my offering is far too small. That what I have to give is far too little to fill the need anyway. These feelings are not of the Lord! Inadequacy, not enough, insufficiency. These have no place in the Kingdom of God. They are schemes of the enemy. Attempts to discourage and overwhelm our efforts with doubt; to cloud our vision and distract us from our true purpose.

We were designed and created to be emptied out in service to the Lord.

"Live a life of love just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." Ephesians 5:2

"But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice..." Philippians 2:17

Poured out...giving up one's self...emptying hands. I see this so vividly in the innocence and purity of the children we minister to in Swaziland. Yes, they come to the care points to eat. Yes, they come to the care points for a cup of cold, clean water. Yes, they come to the care points to receive some teaching and play time. However, what they really come in search of - at the root of all of it - is a hand to hold. They come looking for a face to light up because they walked in the room. They want me to set down whatever I might be holding in my arms and allow their little body to take its place. They desire presence. They need me to show up empty handed...ready and willing...open.

Oh, that I may never disappoint them with hands so full that I can't receive them! Empty my hands, dear Jesus...Empty my hands!