We have started down an unknown road…again! Seems to be kind of theme, doesn’t it? After all, about 2 ½ years ago our family packed (I mean really packed!!) 8 suitcases and boarded a plane bound for Swaziland to serve a ministry in a remote location that had no other long term Western missionaries. We weren’t sure exactly what we were going to be doing other than loving, feeding and sharing the Gospel Truth of Jesus Christ with orphaned and vulnerable kids in a part of the world ravaged by HIV/AIDS and its far-reaching effects. Yes, I had come in 2009 on a 10 day trip and saw the unfathomable need. Yes, our entire family came in September of 2010 for 3 months as a family vision trip where the Lord cemented in each of us our call for this season. In retrospect, however, we were not really, totally prepared for the work here. We had passion and we had confirmation all along the way in preparing to come but we have often found ourselves scratching our heads saying: “Seriously?” (my family says this is my new buzz word) Would we, if we could, go back and not take the road we did? Absolutely not! The lessons the Lord has taught us, the way our family has grown and sharpened one another over these past few years, are truly priceless. The suffering witnessed and endured has taught us how God shapes us and draws us closer into His Presence. We have gone to some of the most beautiful, stunning places in the world and witnessed parts of the Creator’s landscape many folks only read about in books. If we had known before hand every twist and turn along the way would we have twisted or turned another way? Good question…
Last April we met a little girl named Mukelo (Mumu is the nickname her foster family has given her!) Mumu has cerebral palsy and is partially blind. She was abandoned by her mother at about 5 months with a note saying she was just unable to care for her anymore. Mumu was brought to a local hospital where she was (barely) being kept alive. Mumu was malnourished, dehydrated, and suffering from terrible muscle stiffness and such curvature of the spine her little body bent back into a backwards ‘C’. Amy McAdams, AIM missionary along with her husband Steve and their three daughters live in the city of Manzini where the hospital is located. (approx 90 minutes from where we are in Swaziland) Amy has an amazing heart of compassion and would spend many of her afternoons in the children’s ward of the hospital praying for the kids. That is how she was introduced to Mukelo and when the Lord started breaking her heart for this precious little girl. Amy tried tirelessly to get the staff at the hospital to allow Mumu to go home with her so she could care for her in her family home. After over 3 months of phone calls, paperwork, visits etc. they finally allowed Steve and Amy to become Mumu’s foster parents. Click here to read that story! Amy felt confident that she would be able to find a proper, long term placement for Mukelo in Swaziland; some baby home or facility that would care for her special needs. She was wrong! Every door was closed in her face. Of the few baby/children’s homes in Swaziland none of them were willing to take a “child like Mukelo”.
I remember meeting Mumu for the first time. Amy has a photo of me holding her and Eric is seated next to me and we are just looking at her. Something twisted in my heart in that moment.
When McAdams had to return to the USA in November to raise support and visit family they were told they would not be able to have Mumu travel with them. They asked us if we would be willing to care for her in their absence. At first we declined because we were planning on having Eric’s parents visiting for the month of December and we were also planning on doing some traveling with them. Then mom and dad needed to cancel their trip and so we re-considered and agreed to have Mumu for much of the time McAdams were out of the country. Another couple from Indiana, Kenny and Katie, had responded to a blog plea from our director and were able to commit to the month of December. We had Mumu for November and the first couple weeks of January until the McAdams returned.
The day Amy dropped Mukelo off at our house and we finished unloading the endless piles of supplies that came along with her we sat down to go over the details. Amy had typed out a very detailed list with the heading “The Care and Keeping of Mumu”. At that moment it hit me that having this special little one in my home for several weeks was going to entail much more than just dressing her up and snuggling with her. (oh, don’t worry…we did plenty of that too!) We had to learn how to properly mix her bottles and the appropriate thickness of her cereal. How much? How often? What temperature? We had to be schooled in her three times a day physical therapy routine. We had to know how to take care of African skin and hair…it IS different, ya’know! We had to know what medications she can and can not have and how to properly administer them. I have raised two of my own babies and taken care of countless others but in that moment I have to say my heart was racing. Was I going to be able to do it? How would I remember everything? What if Mumu had a hard time transitioning to our home? What if she got sick; the closest doctor is over an hour away! What if she has a seizure? (which she did only once, thank you, Jesus…but it was terrifying!)
My fears were, mostly, unfounded but still very real. We quickly fell into a routine with Mumu and within a couple of days it seemed like she had always been there! During the time she was with us we took her to see an American doctor visiting one of the care points in Manzini. He took some time to examine Mukelo and asked a lot of questions, looking over her sparse “medical records” and history. He seriously and directly indicated that she would require much more medical intervention than she can receive in Swaziland. Her life span, he said, will be significantly reduced if nothing changes. He spoke a lot about quality of life and “how far” people would be willing to go for a child with such extensive (and somewhat unknown) special needs. As he was speaking I just looked down at Mumu and cried. I found myself covering her ears from the hard truth the man in front of me was telling. He was just being realistic, but at that moment I didn’t want realistic. I wanted a miracle. I wanted a way for Mukelo to get the medical help she needs. I felt that same twinge in my heart again that I felt the first time I laid eyes on Mukelo.
Over the remaining time we had Mumu in our care, I started to pray about what it would look like for us to adopt her. Even though adoption is officially closed in Swaziland at the moment, I prayed and asked the Lord for direction. Eric and I talked about it on our pillows at night and his stance at first was that because there is no clear way ahead for adopting her it would be futile to even emotionally start down that path. So I started to pray: “Lord, make a way! If you want to make a way, show us each next step.”
He has been faithful in answering that prayer. As a family, all four of us feel confident that we are to pursue this adoption even if it ends up breaking our hearts in the end. Amy and Steve and the girls have given us their blessing, although it is extremely painful for them to imagine letting Mumu go. We have had two encouraging meetings with a social worker who has openly shared his faith with us and who we trust has Mukelo’s best interest at heart. We have written a letter describing our intent and desire to adopt Mukelo and care for her permanently. We have received other confirmations that can’t be publicly shared but have re-assured and encouraged us that we are doing the right thing. Now we wait. So much of this is out of our hands and could, potentially, be brought to a screeching halt at any moment. Yet, we hope. We trust. We listen and we pray!
We have had dear friends write us notes and messages asking us if we have really thought this through. I love our friends and family who have the courage to be honest with us even when it is hard. That is the mark of a true community and authentic friendship. “Falling in love with a sweet little baby who is totally dependent on you is vastly different than caring for a 100+ pound woman who still needs total care.” “You’re not getting any younger.” “What about the sacrifices it would mean, particularly for Claire and Jacob?” “Are you totally prepared to accept the responsibility of this child’s life…now and in the future?” The short answer: NO, I’m sure we’re not, but we’re doing it anyway.
One step at a time we are going forward into a very unknown future. But I keep remembering something Eric said when we were contemplating with our kids the idea of pulling them out of school, selling our house and moving to Swaziland: “If we look back on our lives, at this moment in time would we regret doing it or not doing it?” We all agreed that, come what may, we would regret not doing it more.
That is still our stance. Come what may, we will chart forward, taking each step as the Lord reveals the way unless or until He says “No further”. We trust in His plan and purpose for the care and keeping of Mumu. He is already using this child in mighty ways to express His mysterious and boundless love to whoever has the privilege of meeting her. Mukelo is living proof that what was meant to harm her is instead going to bring Her Father in Heaven all the glory, honor and praise!
