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I read something today that really spoke to me. I know God meant for me to read these words at exactly this moment in the story of my life and the life of my family as we serve in Nsoko. The past few weeks have been difficult. We have been stretched and challenged in many ways. We have cried. We have prayed. We have even talked about going home. Seriously. It has been rough. There have been small obstacles, like power outages and not having water at home…There have been minor inconveniences, like our truck needing to be brought to South Africa for an expensive repair (the extent of yet remains to be seen since it is still there!) and then a few days later one of our ministry partners crashing one of the few precious remaining vehicles we have left to do the work here! There have been major let downs, like bringing a gogo with cancer to the hospital and having her turned away; bringing a small boy who had a seizure to another hospital and having him turned away…There have been long days and short nights when the amount of work to be done far outweighs our energy, our resources, and our abilities.

However, we remain…

We remain because HE remains! We still believe that God has plans to redeem Swaziland. We still trust that He is good, and His ways are perfect. In the chaos and troubles of this life, He is sovereign. He is steadfast.  He doesn’t change. His mercies are new every morning. His grace is enough!

He has ministered to us through ways, great and small. His love has touched us through people he has brought into our path. A visiting team of high school students from Colorado served to remind Eric that he is an effective and vital leader; a fact that is easily forgotten in cross cultural ministry where tried and true methods of leadership fail to translate. This same team invited Claire and Jacob into their fellowship…a breath of fresh air for two teen/ pre-teen kids who crave the community of other young people who ‘get’ them. A couple of sleep overs in the team house, lots of crazy games and laughter, burning stuff (Jacob and the boys), and heart-to-heart’s (Claire and the girls)… a huge deal for our kids who have given up so much to be here. Meeting a couple of dear women at the store by ‘chance’ which turned into a couple hours over cups of coffee, waffles and much needed conversation served to remind me that I am not without friendships here. I may just have to carve out more intentional time to seek it out. An evening with new friends, sharing in their Friday night family tradition of having a braai (South African BBQ/cookout) and watching rugby. Yeah…God is taking care of us. We know that.

Anyway, back to the book I was reading this morning. It is a small book that was handed to me just last evening. (All That You Can’t Leave Behind  by Ryan Murphy) It is journal entries of a guy from California who serves as a missionary in Kenya, along with his wife and son. The following excerpt was written as they approached their third month of service in Africa. The newness and novelty had worn off and reality started to sink in. They started missing family, friends, familiarity…home! Hmmmmm…sounds familiar! His words ring true, on many levels.

“It’s only when you miss something and when it hurts that it really becomes a sacrifice. Otherwise, it’s a change or an adjustment or a self-serving choice. It’s not a sacrifice until you feel it.

Sacrifice is a sign of love. You give up something for someone else. You put that person ahead of yourself. God could not have sacrificed more than He did by becoming human and going to the cross. I’m only following His lead.

I’m telling God that I love Him more than I love anything in the world when my heart hurts. I won’t turn around or give up His call because it hurts a lot. I’ll just give it to Him as a humble gift, as an offering. King David said, ‘I will not sacrifice a burnt offering that costs me nothing.’

Over and over, God tells us that He really starts to work when we hurt for Him, when we want what He wants more than anything. And that’s where I am and that’s why I know He’s about to get to work.”

 

It strikes me that these words don’t just apply to missionaries serving on foreign soil. We are all missionaries…we are all on foreign soil…this world is not our home! We were put on this earth to serve Him and to join Him in the redeeming work of making all things new! That means work. That means sacrifice. It is going take messy, grueling, heart-wrenching efforts. Wherever you find yourself.  It has to cost something. It may even cost everything.

 It hurts. It will hurt…but one thing I know…I must believe this, otherwise, what are we doing? That is…it is worth it. It is worth it all.
 
This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.”  1 John 3:16

19 responses to “This May Hurt”

  1. What an answer to the prayers of so many!! Remember, we are all in “this” together. We hurt with you, and we rejoice with you.We are so proud of you all! Much LOVE

  2. Jen, Eric-
    Be encouraged and know that you have scores of people behind you and praying for you!

    Come through this time with confidence, you already have the right mindset. Trust me, these trying times are making you, Eric, and your family stronger and your ministry more powerful.

    You are doing such a great thing. I hope to see you again one day!

    IT IS WORTH IT!

  3. We are thinking about our involvement with Bible League and the work done in India…another 3rd world country. Our theme for the retreats this year is HOPE…an acrynym that comes to mind is: He Offers Peace Eternally. What a promise that whatever the circumstances we find ourselves in, we can have peace…and we pray that for you. I just bought a movie at Family Bookstore about Mother Theresa’s work in the slums there….O, my! Because she offered the peace of Christ to those who seemed to have no hope, she has been honored. The slums are still there…many nationals are working with Bible League to continue to bring peace and contentment to those whose living conditions are beyond belief (if you’ve watched Slumdog Millionaire you have some idea). Knowing that THE BEST IS YET TO COME gets us through the tough mundane days here on earth. You are offering those in Nsoko a gift better than gold when you share Jesus with them. My dad always ended his letters with: Keep Looking UP!
    Our thoughts and prayers are always with you!
    Diana Van Zeelt

  4. Eric/Jen,

    Thanks so much for sharing your continued struggles. You are not alone as you and others have stated. Your comment “..when it hurts that is when it really becomes a sacrifice” is so very true. We are spoiled here in the USA. I find myself complaining when the air conditioner can’t seem to keep up with the heat out doors. Then I realize that so many in the US and the world don’t have any air conditioning. So then I am reminded to be thankful for what I have.

    You are sacrificing more than many. No doubt about it. I will continue to pray for God to continue to bring people around you there to uphold you and nurture you.

    Love you all, 🙂

  5. Jen-
    I love your honesty! Thank you for helping us to know how to prayer for you and the family. You have so many people who love you….and are praying for you!
    (((Hugs)))
    Karla

  6. Thank you Jen. God is touching me through your writing and some of what you have shared here will probably make it into my sermon this Sunday. (I’m preaching these two weeks while our senior pastor is with you in Swaziland!)

  7. Thanks for what you are doing. Thanks for the sacrifice you are making and thanks for sharing what you are learning. Jesus promises to be near the brokenhearted and one day you will hear Him say, “Well done!”

  8. Dear Jen and Family,

    One can hear the struggles, fatigue and overwhelming feelings in your writing. What you guys are doing is superhuman and takes superhuman strength! May God equip you and supply you with stamina, grit and knowledge that you are truly being Jesus’ hand and feet to the people you serve. Our family is so grateful to all the times you have helped us through crises and now you are doing it there to people who have so few resources. You guys are my superheroes! Barb

  9. This is and answer to prayer! Praise God! I love you all and will continue to pray for you.

  10. Jen,

    It will cost you everything… I feel your pain in this and I am praying for you guys. Thank you for your sacrifice on behalf of a nation. I love you guys and your hearts. I pray for His Kingdom to come to Nsoko as it is in heaven. I pray for strength in your journey and for more folks to come along side. From CO, I hold up your arms in Spirit. I pray Holy Spirit would come even now and hold you close, and you would feel the tangible presence of the Most High God.

    With all my heart.

  11. A friend recently prayed this over a man who has sacrificed much. Father thank you for the great blessings and the difficulties. They both keep us on our knees before You. I know that complete dependence on God and living out what I say I believe happens when I get pushed beyond me and to total trust in Him. When he calls us to take up our cross and follow He is not talking about a gold piece of jewelry. You are loved and we continue to hold Swaziland up in prayer. Tim

  12. Jen, I’m glad you have found new, or refreshed, perspective. Love you! And Happy Birthday!

  13. Love you Jen! God is with us, especially when it’s hard. I praise Him for His love and for showing the way through this hard time.
    Eric

  14. With all the prayers going out and God being with you, your struggles will be bearable and seem smaller. Much love to all of you.

    Aunt Marilyn

  15. Hey Peterson Family,
    Catching up with e-mail on a brief over night stay at home in GR. We were all thinking about all of you when Jen’s B-day popped up this week on the calendar.

    We’re enjoying some family time away or a couple of weeks. Heading to Cran Hill in the AM for a week of camping with our church friends.

    Happy to see your sense of God’s faithfulness in the midst of difficult days and weeks. We gave thanks for the moments when life for all of you has intermittent blessings that take the challenges of culture and resources and provide for a sleep-over for Claire and Jake and a team that you had a special connection.

    I’m in the beginning stages of planning a sabbatical that hopefully will bring through for a visit with the family next year. I’ll keep you posted. For now – Happy Birthday Jen. Blessings on all of you… Dief

  16. Thank you so much for posting this. My heart really aches for you guys as I hear about your struggles and pain and sacrifice. But I am also so encouraged. I so love that you guys are remaining and continuing to press on with the Lord even when it hurts so much. Your point about what we do not being a sacrifice until it hurts is so important, and I forget it all the time. I really needed to hear this right now. So again, thank you so much for posting this. I wish I had read it sooner. Know that I’m praying for you.