Dear DuDu,
I saw your boy today! He was running through the dirt at the Center with his friends. They were climbing on the wire fence, watching the big harvester across the street picking up sugarcane from the fields. He reminds me of my son, Jacob, at that age. Whenever he would see a big tractor or truck outside he would run to the window, squealing in delight at the "big digger". Jacob wasn't with me last time I visited Nsoko, so you didn't get a chance to meet him. I wish I could have introduced you to my family, as you introduced me to yours. I so enjoyed praying and singing with you and your mother the last time I was here. I especially loved holding your baby boy...the way he stared up at me with those deep, brown eyes...
I saw Jesus in those eyes. I'm sorry I never told you that before.
I am so sorry your life ended so soon, DuDu. You suffered...I know. You were suffering when I saw you in 2009; barely able to hold yourself up and struggling to breathe. I know,however, the real suffering was not visible to those around you. The true suffering you carried to the end of your life here on this earth was in knowing you were leaving your precious little son. I can't even imagine the fear and sorrow that would bring to a mama's heart...
I want you to know, that your little boy is doing well! I looked deep into those beautiful eyes today and Jesus spoke to my soul in a whisper: "This one is mine...I know him and see him and love him. I am watching over him. I have a plan and a purpose for his life." I felt a great peace wash over me as I gazed into your boy's eyes again. I hope and pray that you felt it too. I promise I will look for him every day I am at the Center. I will chase after him and listen to his giggles and, if he allows it, I will scoop him up and wrap my arms around him. With your permission, DuDu, I will whisper into his ear: "Mama loves you, little one. I am sorry I am not with you, but Jesus is with you always and forever. Mama loves you...Jesus loves you..."
I hope you are finally at peace, sisi. Rest in the arms of Jesus, look into His eyes whenever you are missing your little boy. He will give you peace.
Love Your Sister In Christ...Jenifer (Mbali)
