Today we delivered food to one of the widows in our community. There are four homesteads in and around Nsoko that our family has ‘adopted’…we’ve decided that if nothing else we do here makes a difference then we will make sure we do our best to bring change to these four! This woman, who we visited today, is among the four. She has buried all six of her adult children. She has buried grandchildren. She cares for (at least) six little ones on her homestead. Certainly there are others who know that if they wander into her yard, they will find a smile, a soft lap to rest upon and probably something warm to eat. This woman reads her Bible, sings hymns, prays continually and always gives us more blessing then we bring to her.
Today, however, when we arrived at her humble home (a one room, mud and brick dwelling with a dirt floor and little else) she was nowhere to be found. There were several little children, including a sweet toddler girl with no pants and one shoe…crying…frightened….alone. As we started to unload the food, (enough to feed this dear woman and the wee ones she cares for for approximately one month) a few other folks started to appear on the property. Strong, able-bodied, healthy young men. We ask: “Where is go go?” (go go is “grandmother” in SiSwati…also a term referring to any woman who is a caregiver…especially to young children)
We found out this woman was out in the bush…collecting firewood.
Now, just so you know, this dear saint walks with a cane. She has almost no strength in her left hand due to an un-treated sprain from years ago. She is probably in her mid- to late 70’s. Yeah…nobody who should be under the hot sun, bending and lifting to collect firewood in the African bush. Especially when there are other capable adults hanging around.
We drove down the road hoping to find her. Sure enough, there she was, bent over under the weight of several large branches balancing on her shoulders. At her feet, two little boys also carrying twigs and sticks in their arms. We did what we could to help get the firewood, go go and her young grandsons home. Eric sat and visited with this precious go go. He asked directly why these other young men who seemed to be ready to eat whatever this woman prepared, over the fire that was burning because of her efforts, why weren’t they helping?? She really didn’t have an answer for this.
This is the ongoing struggle in our ministry here in Swaziland. Are we actually helping? Are we just enabling a generation of people to turn their backs on their responsibilites? Are we actually hurting? Are we adding to the problem?
Well….maybe…
But, what is the alternative? Widows starve on the only homestead they have ever known? Women who are left to care for their grandchildren and great grandchildren watch these babies die? We, who are able to help….just…don’t??
“Please don’t forget me…please, don’t ever forget me!”
These are the words that echo in our heads and hearts as we leave one widow this afternoon. These are her words, her plea to Eric as he left. She is convinced that even though it may seem there are others who should take responsibility for her and the little ones, that they have proven less than reliable…
She is convinced that somehow the Lord has put us here and given us a heart to bring food and soap and candles and other supplies.
She is convinced that if we forget about her…well…then…what?
We are convinced that, at least for now, our family is responsible for this amazing, strong and beautiful woman, and others just like her. Because of the Lord’s faithful care and keeping of us we are more than able to meet her basic needs.
A very humbling place to be tonight.
Please don’t forget…
You had me crying on this one…..Thank you so much for your vunerability and your honesty of what it’s really like to be a missionary. I’m so blessed and honored to have gotten to know you and your family.
You guys amaze me…..I love you all!
This blog breaks my heart. You are certainly dealing with complex issues that illicit a wide range of opinions. How are we to know what is best? I understand the thought of enabling rather than helping…I have wondered the same thing many times. However, God’s word is clear that we are love others….as our selves. I recently read a passage that spoke to me, perhaps it will be of value to you.
Proverbs 3:27-28
27 Do not withhold good from those who deserve it
when it’s in your power to help them.
28 If you can help your neighbor now, don’t say,
“Come back tomorrow, and then I’ll help you.â€
I am so grateful that God did not withhold His only Son. Thank You for not forgetting those who have been forgotten by the world. Love you guys.
The Lord placed you there to help and you are. Could you have training available for the young ones? How did the old one learn to keep a household? Is the African mind presuming that a woman has to do all the work? We found that to be true in Uganda. Sharing the responsibilities makes it easier for everyone. That would have to be taught in small doses and would require lots of patience but could help! May the Lord give you wisdom so you will know how to deal with such troublesome issues!
Blessings to all of you!
I truly believe that God wants us to give even though OUR judgement may say otherwise. That being said this post had me in tears. How many times do we not do things just because we feel like it doesn’t make a change. Its hard to see the ripple effect of our works. Love you guys and I’m so glad your posting again!
Again, another heart wrenching story!! We think you are doing the right thing. Let’s not worry about enabeling, let’s just help when we see the need. Thanks for your willingness to help this one!! We love you!! “Do unto others”
Your blogs help me to never forget!
God is guiding you and, in His still, soft voice, telling you to do exactly what you are doing. Continue to listen. Perhaps, in time, others will see Him through you and your love toward their own, and see the ‘light’. Something to pray for. I love you.
Dear Jen & Eric,
This is heartbreaking. Is there any way Eric can work with the younger men & boys as well as girls(14-30+)& get them to see their responsibilities? They need to see that this is everybodies job. This matter needs much prayer from
us back here.
Love You Much,
Dawn H
You may not know who I am but… I am a cousin of your parents, Jim and Barb, My sister-in-law, Mary Steketee, just hooked me up with your blog. What a blessing to read about what you are doing. It is a wonderful thing that the Lord has given you to do. Know that you are in our thoughts and prayers as well as the people you work with.
Blessings to you, Carrol Grabill
Thanks for caring and for bringing her story to us. We must not forget.
Thank you for caring and loving so well in Swaziland. I will never forget.
Are you talking about Gogo Aliya in this post, Jenifer? I am still praying for her and am sorry to hear that those around her aren’t coming through for her, but am encouraged that your family is being a blessing to her still!
Will continue to pray,
Genna.
Lovely art! Great stories! Fulfilling lives!
Can you tell me who the artist is who did this painting? Magnificent.