Untitled…because I don’t know what to say
I started a small group for teenage girls/young ladies two weeks ago. My heart is so heavy for that age group…it has grown even heavier since living in Swaziland.
I had found a five week series about Godly young women which answers a few main questions that seemed a great start to open dialogue with the young women here in Nsoko:
*What comes out of a Godly woman’s mouth?
*How does a Godly woman dress/look like/act?
*Who does a Godly woman love?
*What is on a Godly woman’s heart?
* How does she remain pure?
*Where does a Godly woman put her trust and hope?
It was very encouraging, that at the second meeting last Friday, there were 27 young women present. There seemed to be a real keen interest in the material and we had some great discussion! I left that meeting feeling excited, happy and (yes) a bit proud…that I seemed to have hit on a nerve and opened up a dialogue!
Then, over the weekend there was a funeral in the community. We hadn’t heard too much about it until after the fact. As more information became clear, however, the heaviness in my heart became like a boulder. The deceased was a teenage girl…she had become pregnant…again…and went to one of the tribal ‘healers’ for a concoction to…again…abort the baby growing within her. Both she and the baby died as a result.
But there is more!
She had two sisters…who also have died trying to abort unwanted pregnancies…
Such hopelessness…such despair…
SUCH DARKNESS…
I am left asking…
“Lord, why didn’t You stop this?”
“Lord, why couldn’t I have been put in this young girl’s path?”
I am haunted by…
“Lord, DID I cross paths with this young girl and write it off as just another teen mother in Swaziland?”
It is too easy to become jaded and cynical in this culture. So many young girls walking around pregnant, with another little one slung on their back! So many youth deemed failures by a failing education system with nothing but time and hormones on their side…casual sex is a daily fact!
But then you imagine her…
Ashamed
Alone
Desperate
Deceived
Jen,
Praying that God will hold you closer than ever. Not sure that is even possible? But I am praying for it. 🙂
I don’t answers to your breaking-heart questions. Just know that I am praying for you. As well as all those others who will read this from you. In Christian Love, Duane
Jen, out hearts hurt when your does too.
OUR
Jen,
I am so sorry.
I think it is more about you being than it is about you doing.
I know you guys “DO” so much, but I think God is using your family to be with our Swazi bhutis and Sisis, like now being with them in this pain and grief, to be with your girls group just walking with them through life together.
Yeah I think our heavenly Daddy is saying “well done Jen, thank you for going and being with my children”.
Standing with you in prayer.
We’ll be praying for your peace in the middle of all those troubles. There may be many more girls who will NOT fall victim to casual sex as a result of your lessons. Just knowing it happened helps you realize how important you are being there. May God hold you close as you hold those girls close and point them in the Godly direction.
So heartbreaking…but the fact that you are broken over this is WHY God has you there. You are making a difference – one conversation, hug, prayer at a time – you just may not see it this side of heaven. Keep pressing on and pressing in and loving them as Daddy God is loving you – you are saving lives Jen! You are making a difference!!!
Jen-
I know how much you have a heart for these young women and that is why it hurts so, so bad! You are making a difference, DO NOT forget that! Stay strong, pray and press onward. We are praying for your ministry and know that you are doing amazing, wonderful things!
I love you, my friend!
Karla
Oh Jeni….I wish I were there to give you a hug. My heart breaks for this young woman, her sisters, all the others who live with this, and for you, Sweetheart. He is there. At times like this it seems imposible, I know, but He is, and His heart is breaking too. I love you.
Hi Jen, I thinks it’s so good that you started a program for the teenage girls and that so many showed up. I can feel your sorrow for the girls you didn’t get to help and talking about that with the others will be good for you and them. You’re trying so hard and doing a good job. Keep up the good work. We’re praying for you and the rest of your family every day. Love you, Jen.
So heartbreaking Jen. And what a reality for me that even in serving we become immune to seeing need around us.
Praying for you and your heart and the girls you are leading.
So much is hard to understand. Love you!
Mary B
Oh, Jen. Know that prayers abound for your family. God has placed you there for a time such as this. I know the overflow of your tender heart will continue to reach out where God calls. He will bear you up through all the heartbreaks and lift you up in all the joys!
Just read the blog. Heartbroken with you!! “Keep on Keeping On” We love you so!!!
Jen,
You don’t have a clue who I am, but I’ve been reading your blog and praying about whether God would have me go to Guatemala this summer and I just had to share this little thing with you.
I spent a month in Brazil last year on a mission trip. It’s exhausting, draining, rewarding, hard, frustrating, fulfilling, and exhausting all over again. One thing that I struggled with was every time we did one drop of good, there were 5000 more gallons of bad that seemed to undo the good that God had done. One thing our team was encouraged with was the idea of a honeybee. By themselves, one honeybee makes one tenth of a teaspoon of honey in her entire lifetime, but the value of the pollination, the honey made and her making more honeybees are an invaluable difference that snowball into so much. If that’s just one physical example, imagine how much can be multiplied when GOD is inside you! Don’t get distracted by the overwhelming hurt of those you can’ t reach, but trust God to use the ones you DO reach to reach more…. and more… and more. His Kingdom can not be stopped, and the difference God makes through you is a world of difference to that one. You may never see the repercussions of your ministry, but “take heart, for I have overcome the world”
It is truly heartbreaking, Jen. But I echo Meredith’s sentiments. “One drop of good, 5000 gallons of bad”. When I pray for you, I will ask for the drops. May all of our prayers lift you up and give you strength to face the next challenge, for there will be many, but may you also find the joy, one drop at a time.
Laura
Dear Jen,
Your family,bringing the Light of Jesus, are the only light these dear souls have. You have such a loving heart that you are just what they need. You not only show them unconditional love, but also provide them with practical ways of staying pure or not falling prey to these things again.
It truly is a heart breaking situation.
Love & Prayers Honey,
Dawn H
Thanks for being there. Presence means a lot – words are a bonus.
Jen,
How tragic for the young women who are in such a state of desperation. I pray that your new small group will be an answer to their prayers.
In Christ,
Ruth